Netflix and Chilled (Spoof Story)

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        "Ah!  What's taking that bitch so long?!"  Jason isn't quite the patient type when it comes to waiting on house guests.  He had invited over his coworker, Angela to come and participate in "Netflix and chill", the ridiculous 21st century way of saying "Do you wanna come over to watch a movie and have sex afterwards?"  Many people during this day and age don't seem to hold a grasp on decency or respect, this especially being directed at people like Jason.  Jason continued to flip through different movies under his "recommended list" on Netflix, growing more frustrated with every minute.  "What the fuck happened to Netflix and chill?!  I asked this bitch last night before I left work, and she said that she would think about coming over tonight.  Where the hell is she?"

         Jason continued to flick through suggestions that flashed upon his television screen.  "And after all of that, this bitch still wants to stand me up?  I set up dinner, a romantic chic flick to get that bitch in the mood, and three different packs of condoms to give that bitch some variety."  Unaware of how vain and ridiculous Jason sounded, he continued on.  "Ugh!  Guess I better text that bitch and see where the fuck she's at."  Jason picks up his phone and begins to text Angela.  "Hold up, J!  You don't wanna sound desperate or pissed!  Then she'll never come.  Ease up.  Give the bitch a chance to provide an explanation."

          He started off the text conversation with, "Hey."

          Angela's phone quickly responded back, "Hey."

          "Where are you?  I thought you were coming over today."

           "Oh!  I'm sorry about that!  I totally forgot-"

           Jason was ready to throw his phone at this point but he decided to calm himself down.  "Give her a chance man.  Keep reading."  Jason continued reading Angela's text.

             "-about your offer to Netflix and Chill.  I wanted to come over, but something came up.  I'm stuck at work."

            Jason calmed down a bit, but was still upset that Angela wouldn't be making the date.  He texts her back, "When will you be getting out?"

              "Not for awhile.  My supervisor wanted me to stay and do an all nighter."

              Jason was a bit more than angry at this point, but something seemed off.  Angela didn't have a supervisor over her, because she was his supervisor.  Something seemed very strange, and Jason didn't like the feeling it gave him.  "Uh...yeah.  When did you get a new supervisor?"  Jason asked, testing whoever it was on the other line. 

              "I received a new supervisor yesterday.  I thought I told you yesterday that I would no longer be your advisor and that I was moving to a different division of the company?"

               Now this seemed more than suspicious to Jason.  He remembered everything that she had talked about with him the day before, and Angela had no plans to leave the division she was in anytime soon.  He decided to press on and ask for a sexy photo.  "Well...while you're at work, do you wanna send me some hot pics?"

                 "No!  Jason, I can't!  I could get caught."

                "It's only you there right?  Then there's no harm in showing a little nipple or a panty shot.  You owe me for standing me up right?"

                   Jason may have been a disrespectful individual, but he wasn't stupid.  He wanted a photo to see exactly where she was.  Angela waited for awhile while Jason sat on his couch and went back to switching between movie recommendations on Netflix.  Finally, after ten minutes of waiting a photo came through.  It was a snapshot of her stomach.

                     "Nice! Nice!  But when do I get to see some titties?'

                     After receiving that text message, Angela's phone began sending in a flood of photos and snapshots of Angela.  Her arm, her thigh, her shoulder, her back, her butt, her bare chest, all of these photos flooded in all at once.  "Do you like?"

                    Jason replied, "Oh, yeah!  Now we're talking!  How about a full body shot?"

                    A minute later, Jason received a photo of Angela's body, but was not prepared for how it was presented.  Jason received a photo of Angela's torso, hanging limply by a chain held to her back in what appeared to be a meat locker, with her limbs suspended on other chains,  her head and neck not being found on her body.  Jason received an image of Angela's head on top of what appeared to be an ice chest.  "Like my selfie?"

                      Jason dropped his phone and tv remote in shock.  Someone had kidnapped and butchered Jason's date.  He gathered up enough courage to pick up his phone and respond, "Who the fuck are you and what did you do to Angela?"

                     What Jason saw next truly unnerved him.  He received an downward facing selfie to show the entire body of Angela's killer.  It was an image of a gristly man.  He held the massive cleaver that he used to hack Angela to pieces in his other hand, showed a ghastly smile with large, white teeth.  His smile was much larger than the normal person's, and his muscles on his arms matched the size of his mouth.  He was a very large man from the look of the image, probably nearly seven feet tall.  His eyes were a pearly white with the iris completely whited out.  He has a dark mat of hair on top of his head and his apron and body were drenched in Angela's dried blood.  

                     "Hope you liked my artwork.  I'm Gula, the butcher."

                     Jason dropped the phone again in fear.  

                       "I hope I'm not running late for our date Jason."

                       Jason was terrified, he didn't know what to do.  He went into his bedroom to look for his handgun, but he couldn't find it.  Jason heard his phone ring with another text message.  He went back to check his phone.  There was a photo with Jason's handgun wedged into the cavity of where Angela's neck used to be.

                         "There will be no kid toys on this date.  I'm on my way.  See you soon."


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~R

             

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